3rd Day

Today is the 3rd day since it all happened.. I really don't know what to do.. I seem so lost right now.. I haven eaten for several days.. Well.. It's not that he knows what's happening to me anyway.. So it's okay because he doesn't really have to care so much about me anymore although i do want him to care about me.. We haven't been contacting each other and i'm already starting to miss him.. I really don't know if we are still together or not.. He says that he needs space and i am giving him the space that he needs but it seems like he's showing interest in some other girl.. I don't know.. Maybe it's just me but i can say that i have never been wrong about these things.. For all my ex's.. I told them the same thing and they are now getting married to that girl that i said they had feelings for.. I'm not saying that i'm GOD but it really did just happen like what i said it would but it never goes right for me.. My every relationship just always goes from bad to worse.. What am i? Just being bad luck in love? Or am i just meant to be all alone for ever and ever?? I've already been through so many ups and downs and i still don't understand men and their ego's.. I just want to be right beside him.. I just want him to know that no matter what happens i'll still be there waiting for him and still loving him.. I just want to go through every thick and thin with him.. Is that so wrong? But NO!!! He had to just push me away.. If he wants to find a better girl than me then just tell me.. Don't have to be so nice to your friends but be so cold towards me.. I saw how he treated me that day at his friends house.. He just totally pushed me away.. I so wanted to hug him and hold him close to me so badly but i was afraid that he would push me away like he always does.. He says that he doesn't want to see me getting hurt but the fact is that i am already being hurt by him... Not that he hit me but i was hurt by his words and actions.. I have never been so broken in my entire life.. I have never felt so sad and alone.. Except for the passing away of my great grandfather.. I'm just done crying.. I want to cry but there just isn't anymore tears anymore.. I may act a little cold towards myself nowadays but friends and family are the only thing that i have right now.. My cousin is my best and closest friend that i have got.. I will only tell her everything.. She knows how i feel because she's actually going through the same thing that i am going through right now.. I really don't know what to do right now.. I really just feel like dying so that i could just stop this suffering but it would be selfish because i'd be leaving him all alone in this cold dark world.. I dreamt that i commited suicide right in front of him.. It happened right in front of my house.. I fell from the 13th floor and he just watched me fall.. He didn't come and stop me from falling.. He was just inches away from me but he just didn't want to save me.. He just let me fall to the ground and die.. It's a really scary dream.. I couldn't sleep after that dream.. It's funny because just a few days before this.. I dreamt that we were getting married.. It was a simple white wedding.. Just us and the wali.. Nobody else.. I know it's crazy to dream about getting married with someone but i'll tell you something.. All these years.. This is the only wedding dream where i can actually see whom am i getting married to.. I'm serious.. No lies.. But i guess that it won't happen seeing what's going on right now.. I'm giving up on life now.. I wish for his happiness with someone that he really loves with all his heart.. I also wish that his problems will be over soon.. I just want to see him happy again.. Nothing else.. That is all that i want.. Him to be happy again..